03/09/04

2004-09-05T16:19:00.000-07:00

First Impressions

The layout of the front page has changed for the better, reminicent of The Toronto Star, more professional. Did this affect the Imprints tradition of hard hitting investigative journalism? Nope it still sucks. Headline on the front page is "Student Parking Services Overhauled". Did you know students who buy a parking pass can now park in lots C N W and X? Do you care? Apparently some people care because the only two letters to the editor were about parking. Its parking, people! Just sad.

Best headline

Wanna Be Startin' something'? - Kitchener man arrested after sending death threat to Michael Jackson's courthouse.

Campus Question

What is your fondest memory of frosh week? Or, how are you looking forward to it?

With such inane responses as I remember there being alot of people. A whole bunch of people you don't know but you just hang out with, the imprint had to resort to a picture of a dog with the caption "My Mom left me tied outside the environmental building too long" to at least add some humor a question which is under no circumstances supposed to be taken seriously.

In short, LAMEST CAMPUS QUESTION EVER.

News

Following U of T's lead, Waterloo is also creating a school of pharmacy. I suppose this is a good idea, I mean with an ever growing list of ailments like Social Anxiety Disorder, we all need more drugs right? I do however think its cool that they are setting up shop in downtown Kitchener, the influx of 1200 or so students should help to add some life to the downtown.

Columns

Sasha Gurfraind - The cult of the remarkable Yoda

More Larry worship. According to the article, like the Matrix's main character Neo, Yoda's Jedis can see the giant computer behind the wallpaper of reality. Your not in math are ya Sasha? Good little article none the less.

Serena Wong - ... A Tale of Embarassing Blunders

Ah its just so enjoyable knocking the National Post (and so easy). On a side note, I was pleasantly surprised to see that Laurier switched their free newspaper provider from the Post to the Toronto Star.

Tom Levesque - Iraq: Canada's Impotence

A nice piece of rhetoric criticizing Canada for its decision not to aid the US in its invasion of Iraq. Stuff like this really gets me going, I was close to actually writing a letter to the editor detailing each fallacy this guy presents, but I relented. Besides, if you just keep in mind how disputed the Iraq terrorism connection is and that things were bad in Iraq but things were and are far worse elsewhere, then it should be easy enough to pick apart this column on your own.

Mark Johnson - Is this what freedom looks like?

Another nice piece of rhetoric, though its funny how it doesn't upset me nearly as much as the other column, probably just because its closer to my bias. Now that I think about it, these contentious little columns are way better than a well reasoned essay because the Imprint can at least expect to get some good angry letters, and then angry letters about the first batch of letters and so on until there are no more letters about the parking situation on campus.

Arda Ocal - An in Depth Investigation

A nice investigation into the terms used to physically describe someone. Its actually pretty funny how well his terms map onto another system. Check it out:

0 - Nice
1 - Cute
2 - Hot

Yes this is an inside joke (and no I will not let you in on it).

Heramb - A new year, a fresh start.

Yeah, ya gotta love Heramb. Pretty much the only good thing in the Imprint. Adam Johns kegging advice given in the context of a conversation with Karl Laggerfeld aint bad either.

Adam Mcguire - Starving: not just for artists anymore

Good article arguing that we should not blame athletes for the lack of medals at the olympics, but instead blame lack of funding. He has a good point. If you look at the number of medals Canada earned per dollar spent funding athletes, we probably did pretty well. More funding for athletics is great, but I am not sure we should funnel increased funding to only high profile athletes. I think funding grass roots athletics is a far more valuable use of funding in the long run. Getting your kids off the couch and playing soccer will not only help us produce better olympic calibre athletes later on, but it can be argued that it will also produce healthier citizens and decrease the cost of health care. The US may have one of the highest medal counts from the games but I think any accomplishments in atheletics are tarnished by the fact that they also have one of the highest rates of obesity in the world.

The frosh insert

A mildly entertaining collection of tips for those new to UW such as this gem from Haramb: ...you guys have to write the math preparedness test. Let me repeat, this test is the biggest waste of time ever. It's about as useful as a third testicle. The frosh insert also includes the requisite How To Have Sex In Residence primer, but without the great diagrams of years past (Sorry couldn't find a link to it).

Imprint Review

03/09/04